Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Loo Diaries

Here's the tale of 5 toilets.

We once had a toilet in our master bath.  The hubster decided it was time to replace it with a low water flush model.  He found a tank on clearance and decided he could order the bowl to match. So he placed the order and chucked the old toilet.  The new one would arrive in a few days and he'd install it right away [I know, gripping isn't it?]  This is how things REALLY happened:

1. Ordered the new toilet from Home Depot.  It was delivered to our home via UPS...broken!  [see below pics] Not just a crack, but split all the way up both sides.  Nothing like a few 'Fragile' stickers to make the people handling it do their jobs properly, right?  Home Depot lets us return that one and;




2.  Order another one, and this time they will deliver it to the store on their own truck.  It arrives in one piece (yay), my husband installs it, and........it's the wrong toilet.  It doesn't match up with the holes on the tank to connect them together.  Turns out that Kohler changed the model; Home Depot knew this but never bothered to change the picture on their website.  Gee thanks.  So my hubby un-installs it (not fun) and returns it to Home Depot.  They tell us they can no longer get the old model so we get a refund.

3.  Hubby goes-to-Lowes (hey that rhymed) and they assure him (never trust people who assure you of anything ahead of time) they can get the old model.  They call eleventy-hundred warehouses and find one and order it. Yay Lowes!  Only to get a call two days later telling us 'hey, Kohler changed the model and we'll have to order that one'.  Uhmm, we already knew that and no thanks, we don't want that one.  Been there, done that.  Boo Lowes! So we get a refund.

4.  We research the Internet and find an online guy who sells discontinued models and purchase the old model from him.  It is shipped to us via UPS...........broken!  This time in a gazillion pieces.  People, you are shipping what boils down to a large porcelain statue.  Package it to protect from breakage for goodness sakes!  We arrange for UPS to pick it up and do their thing, and contact the shipper who arranges to send out a replacement toilet who 'Assured' us it would ship on Monday (this was Friday) It never arrived!  He told us three different times that it had shipped on three different dates.  we began to smell a rat, so we had to call the credit card company and reverse the charges.

5.  We ordered from yet another online company and waited for a shipping date and tracking info.  And waited................[cue the crickets]  While waiting for any communication at all from them, we get a toilet delivered, via UPS.  We thought it was from our most recent order, but it turns out it's the replacement one shipped out by the guy in the above paragraph.  Yep, the guy who we had reversed the charges on weeks ago.  Confused?  Yeah, so was I.  This was the first time I had received something and had no clue which company had sent it.  Oh and I probably forgot to mention.  It......too........was........broken! So we call UPS again, they pick it up - more phone calls to the warehouse that shipped it, blah blah blah - it's like "Groundhog Day" -- wake up, order a toilet, return a toilet... wake up, order a toilet... you get the idea.

6. We finally hear from the most recent place we ordered from, only to find out something completely brand new [insert sarcasm].  Kohler changed the model of this toilet and they can no longer get one.  He went on and on about how he called every warehouse in the country and found ONE lonely toilet in New York [sounds like a bad lifetime movie title doesn't it?] and we can have it for the same price that he advertised--plus an additional $150 because it's discontinued and extra shipping (via UPS of course) and are we still interested?  Uhmm that would be a negative!  

I tried to get the man to take pity on us and explained the whole saga to him and he offered it for $30 less.  Which if you're doing the math is still $120 more than we agreed to pay him originally.  Double negative!  I explained there was no way I would take another delivery from UPS when they clearly can't do it safely, that it would need to be packaged better and shipped via freight on a pallet.  He said, 'sure',  for an ADDITIONAL $150 dollars!  Can you say clueless to our plight?  He emailed me three times asking me if I was sure I wanted to cancel our order.  **screams in frustration**

We cancelled all  pending orders.  My husband went to Lowes and bought the new model at full price and it was just installed yesterday.  We still have an extra tank with no bowl to go with it.  Any takers?  We've had NO toilet in our master bath for over 10 weeks.   

Anyway, here are the before and after just to show you how nice the new one looks.




Tuesday, February 14, 2012

❤HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY❤ and tornadoes in winter?

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Happy Valentine's Day

Yeah we get all mushy and stuff around here.  Hubby gave me roses and chocolates.  And he treated his girlie girl to a rose and some baking stuff (her passion).  So all is well, hugs and kisses, blah blah - dinner tonight - blah blah blah.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Then, my youngest son was perusing the contents of the fridge for breakfast while making small talk with me [multitasking at its best I tell ya]  And it went something like this:

NICHOLAS: Mom? Are there tornadoes in the winter?

ME:  (not even hesitating to answer, b/c he is often random like this) Sure, it's rare, but if the weather conditions are right it can happen.  You know, we've had a very mild winter so far and if we get a storm and the warm air and cold air mix just right----

NICHOLAS: ----what are you talking about?!?!

ME:  ----then the conditions could produce----Wait----What??  What were YOU talking about??

NICHOLAS:  I didn't ask you about THAT!


ME:  (scared to ask now) 

**let me insert a disclaimer here.  My husband is FOREVER hearing the wrong thing come out of our mouths.  Instead of responding with a simple 'What did you say?', he will just respond to what he thought he heard and ramble on until one of us interrupts and sets him straight.  Uhmmmm....... kind of like this morning's conversation. **

What DID you ask me then?

NICHOLAS:  I asked 'why are there tomatoes in the butter?'

ME:  Laughing hysterically so tears immediately form.  I can no longer form words and just grab Nicholas and hug him.  Now we're both shaking from me laughing so hard and he really doesn't know what to make of his 'cuckoo for cocoa puffs' mom, but he goes with it anyway.  BTW, he's a great hugger.


Finally I compose myself long enough to tell him what I thought I 'heard' him say and break out in a refreshed bout of hysterical laughter, still hugging him and now I'm apologizing while laughing and hugging and yelling out 'Help me, I've become DAD!  Please help me, I'm becoming your dad.  OMG, I've become your dad, LOL, I swear I thought you said Tornadoes in Winter, not Tomatoes in Butter.....**WAIT**


--Why ARE there tomatoes in the butter?

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Telemarketers - No is a complete sentence!

I love Oprah for teaching the 'No' lesson.  I just need to remember to use it more often.


Had a telemarketer call the other day and it went something like this:

T: Hi, I'm calling you back because the last time we spoke you said 'sometime next year' would be a good time to check back with you-- (it's the 10th of the new year already--slacker)--

ME:  Regarding?

T: [blah blah blah] installation of windows [blah blah blah] ........I'm waiting for a break and finally interrupt him --

ME:  --We're not interested.

T:  Really?  Because the last time we spoke, you said you were interested in replacing your windows sometime next year [blah blah blah.......I'm gazing out into the newly fallen snow and imagining all 26 of my windows removed, and a minus 5 windchill blowing through my kitchen] and then I snap out of that fantasy and say--

ME:  I don't recall having that conversation.

[is this a new sales technique praying on the bad recall of menopausal women with 20 year old windows?]

T:  Yes, we--

ME:  Look, my husband's in the business.  So, if we decide our windows need replacing, he would do the work himself.

T:  Well, that's great that your husband can install windows and I completely understand him not wanting to hire someone to do it then ...[should have ended there, but then he inhaled and went on]..... but he couldn't offer the warranty that we can by doing the work himself.

ME:  For a second the phone was silent on both ends.  I know what I was thinking [seriously dude? I should pay thousands of dollars in labor to YOU when my husband can install them for free.  And besides, I know where to find my husband if something doesn't work with the windows.  Can you give me THAT guarantee?]

T:  He said nothing while I was thinking.  Perhaps his brain was saying 'Seriously dude?  Did you just say that out loud? Maybe she's really dumb enough to fall for that line?  Yeah, I need to add this one to my top 10 sales pitches, because she hasn't hung up on me yet----

ME: -- Click--

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Giveaway ~ Giveaway ~ Giveaway!

You can win a $100 Visa Gift Card!

Click HERE to see how!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

2011 Favorite Things

I started gifting some of my favorite things a few years ago (ala Oprah), minus the expensive new car.  Don't hate, she has a bigger expense account than I do.

Anyway, these are a few of my faves that are being given to my besties this year:


Pioneer Woman's Cinnamon Rolls, made by Moi
These are TO.DIE.FOR!!


Floral Pin by
The Lovely Poppy
I'm pairing one of these up with the last gift here
[scroll baby scroll]


Best lotion, HANDS down
[sorry, had to say it]
Soap & Glory used to call it Great Shakes
Then my fave lotion and I were on a hiatus until it re-emerged as
'Hand Food'



Pashmina
[Amazon.com]
No one will guess how little you spent on these
They are gorg!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Blessings

Blessings to you and yours
from
The Rix Family
2011

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Favorite Things

I am not Oprah and I don't play her on TV.  I do admit I was a slightly obsessed fan, even having the honor of being an audience member once.  I also admit to getting slightly depressed every year when she'd kick off the holiday season with her 'Favorite Things' episodes.  Recently, a friend got to visit the 'Favorite Things' set -- she wasn't an audience member and didn't receive anything so I didn't have to be jealous of my best friend or anything super selfish like that.........Ahem,...........but I digress.

Nester is hosting a 'Favorite Things' party and I hate to miss out on a party. And now that Oprah is off the air and all.......I figure we need to carry on the tradition, right?

Here goes.  My list of FAVE.OR.ITE  THINGS.
[all under $30]


ORIGINS SMILEAGE PLUS LIP BALM
NOTHING WILL MAKE YOUR LIPS HAPPIER
$12.50


I'VE HAD A RED LICORICE LOVE AFFAIR MY ENTIRE LIFE
THESE ARE JUST ONE OF MY FAVES
Under $2 at Walmart


WHEN I'M HAVING A ROUGH WEEK MY HUBBY SLIPS ONE OF THESE ONTO MY DESK
HE LIVES BY THE MOTTO 'HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE'
MY HUSBAND IS A VERY SMART MAN
Under $2 at Trader Joe's




ANOTHER ORIGINS FAVORITE
EYE PENCILS WITH BUILT IN SMUDGER TIP
MY TWO FAVORITE COLORS ARE 'MUSHROOM' AND 'MULBERRY'
$15.00


DON'T NEED A FANCY EXPENSIVE WINE TO PLEASE THIS PALETTE
YELLOW TAIL SHIRAZ IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES
$11 at Sam's Club

I NEARLY HAD TO SEND MY SON OUT FOR THIS FOR DINNER TONIGHT
I'VE BEEN CRAVING IT FOR SIX DAYS NOW
MAYBE TOMORROW NIGHT?

CHIPOTLE BURRITO BOWL
Add a bag of chips with mild salsa and some Iced Tea
Best meal for under $10



GAP CREW NECK LONG SLEEVED T-SHIRT
DON'T LAUGH
BEST FITTING - BEST FEELING -- MOST DURABLE T-SHIRT I'VE WORN IN AGES
HANDS DOWN
$16.95


PREMIER DESIGNS
COMPANION EARRINGS
THESE ARE MY FAVORITE EVERY DAY EARRINGS

SO MUCH SO THAT I LOST ONE RECENTLY
AND REPURCHASED ANOTHER PAIR
IMPATIENTLY AWAITING THEIR ARRIVAL
$26


I could go on and on but this was a lot of fun.  Let me know if you try any of my favorites.  I'd love to hear from you and LOVE to get comments!


Friday, November 18, 2011

GO DAWGS!!

Our high school football team is in the finals to play downstate and they are UN.DE.FEATED!!!

NBC news came to film a pep rally this morning and this is a clip of the fabulous school spirit some 600 students mustered up at 5am!!


View more videos at: http://nbcchicago.com.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

This post is entitled: 'When do Boys Connect the Dots?'....

....and various other things my boys do to make me scratch my head.

So, take a stroll with me [if you dare] and enter the boys' bedroom (cue the dramatic music)


See anything wrong with this picture?


no not the half painted walls ....
.... perhaps the unmade beds?..... surely you jest?

See the hamper?  It looks empty doesn't it?  There's a reason for that...
(follow me to the other side of the room.  I know it's scary but I'll hold your hand, kay?)


Are things beginning to make a little sense now?
See I asked my son to carry up his empty hamper on Saturday after I did laundry.
Now is the time I make you do math.

Today is Thursday - need a hint?  That makes FIVE days that the hamper has been sitting empty by his bed when it's supposed to go in the closet here.

What's that you say?  You don't see a hamper here? You only see FIVE days of dirty clothes climbing out of the open closet?  There's a reason for that....

Because it's still sitting HERE, by my son's bed......where he put it on SATURDAY....

Still.Empty.

I know I should wait and make them do it, but quite honestly I just played out the entire conversation in my brain and I exhausted myself just thinking about it so I caved and took care of it myself.


 VOILA!!  Much better!

Even better still!  
Now....how long before you think they'll notice?  Anyone care to wager a bet?

Who am I?

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I'm a SAHM of 4 kids living in the Chicago burbs and enjoying life!

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